Before anybody else can love you, you have to love yourself.

This is something I say very often in my sessions but what does this mean to love yourself?

Many of us find it easier to love others than to love ourselves. Sometimes we treat ourselves so harshly .That constant voice inside our head is our harshest critic. We all spend far to much time dwelling on our own perceived imperfections

But regardless of the reasons for your lack of self-love, this is your time to set your intention start caring for yourself and treating yourself with the love you deserve. Instead of being selfish, as many fear, this self-love is a projection of how you wish other to love you in return

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There are many ways we can help ourselves, some are obvious but some need a little more work to achieve so lets start by talking to your inner critic and give yourself permission to practice self love .

Who are you ? Do you know yourself ? what do you believe in ? what is important to you ?, what makes you happy ?. It’s impossible to love yourself if you don’t even know who you are .How can you do this , spend some time and discover yourself again . We all lose our sense of who we are at different stages of our life

Can you Say “no” when you need to ? This is something I hear from many clients , we feel that we cant say NO, we must try to learn as our boundaries are an essential form of self-care because they let others know that you deserve and expect respect.

Don’t compare yourself to others. Others aren’t better or worse, more or less than you.They’re just different, we are all different . Once you start to accept yourself for just who you are, there’s no need to compare yourself and in my experince this is one of the key things that all women struggle with, once you manage to see other woman as sisters and not competitors you will be more able to love yourself.

Our lives are full of a million and one things to do , we as modern woman have many more distractions than our mothers had .Now we are expected to excel in the workplace , be a perfect mother, look after the house, look after our husbands, look after our extended family and so it goes on .This is impossible and draining and ultimately keep us from truly knowing and being ourselves. We have to learn to focus on our positive strengths and in turn this will help you to increase your positive feelings for yourself. We have to take time for yourselves if we dont take it no one will give it t us !

Be honest with yourself. This is a hard thing to do as subconsciously we have created a range of self -deception that we are unaware of so we really need to dig deep . Honesty is key in all relationships and your relationship with yourself is no different. Clearly, you can’t love your entire messy self if you’re lying, minimizing, or making excuses. True self-love means taking responsibility and accountability.

Dont be afraid to feel

Our feelings are an integral part of who we are. You can’t be an authentic person without acknowledging and feeling all of your feelings. Don’t be worried about uncomfortable feelings like anger ,sadness & grief . They are all feelings that If you deny them, you deny a part of yourself. Allow yourself to express them.

Speak kindly to yourself. Talk to yourself like you’d talk to a loved one. Don’t constantly criticise yourself,and allow negative thoughts to constantly go around and around in your head. Surround yourself with people who are kind generous and respectful be choosy with freinds its best to have just one or 2 freinds who are positive than lots of freinds that are judgmental you just dont need them. The people you spend time with reflect how you think about yourself ,sometimes this may means making a decision to cut yourself off from friendships that no longer serve you.

But regardless of the reasons for your lack of self-love, this is your time to set your intention to start caring for yourself and treating yourself with the love you deserve. Instead of being selfish, as many fear, this self-love is a projection of how you wish other to love you in return . re connecting with your self is the most basic form of self love.